Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute

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(309): View more from Illinois

is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?

Fav 42 1685 4402
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(330): View more from Ohio

just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c

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(530): View more from California

Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.

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(703): View more from Virginia

protesters in toronto definately have the best pot

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.

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(909): View more from California

don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.

Fav 13 1974 6364
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!

Fav 1 34 60
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