wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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