so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
