Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
