Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Screwed.edu
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
