I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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