Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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