Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
