Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
