No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So here I am, sexting at work.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
