White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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