Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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