Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
