It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
