Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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