I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
