i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
