I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
