I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
