Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
