talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize