so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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