After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
