The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
