how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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