Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
