is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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