There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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