Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
