So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
