I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
