well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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