I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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