She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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