This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The adults are the big ones right?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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