She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize