are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
