So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
