Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
