I am in a vortex of obligation.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
