whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
