Pants 0. Shit 1.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize