You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
