im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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