Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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