I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
