i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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