what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
