everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
