Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
