Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
