I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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