ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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