Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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