All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize