I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
