mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
