I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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