he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
