Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
