Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize