You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
