is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
